Monday, March 12, 2012

Reason #5 - Appease the Toddler

Kids can be awesome and enrich your life in many ways. They will also make totally random, illogical demands of you, challenging the limits of your sanity.

Case in Point:

I like to do small things for my son, small things that brighten his day. Slurpees from the local 7-11 are a great (and cheap) way to reward him for being good. The whole affair is a fun activity. He walks in with me, grabs his own cup, we fill it up, grab the lid and straw, he puts it on the counter, and I pay. Simple right? Well, it wasn't so simple the last time.

First off, they had exactly one lid for the small cups. Of course, this would be the time the Slurpee machine decides to expel it's delicious red stuff all over the place. It was a mess, and somehow I got the lid dirty. There were no more lids for that size cup. So, we upgraded and got a large cup. With that large cup came a big red straw instead of the normal size green straw. I had no idea how grave a mistake I had made...

We finally made it back into the car and were on our way down the road. I offered the Slurpee to my boy, and he denied! He said "No, down!" but I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that. This went on for a couple of rounds and he started freaking out the way toddlers sometimes do.

"Is the straw too big?" I asked, reaching for anything that could come to my mind.



We pulled over, because his fit was abating, but still in high gear and I needed both my hands to fix the problem. And so, here is the method for appeasing your toddler's ridiculous demands by shortening a straw on the fly.

1: Fold the straw where you want to make your cut.

2: Put the blade of your knife behind the fold.

3: Slice away from yourself, common sense.

4: Put the straw back and hand your kid the damn Slurpee and remember, this is exactly why you carry a knife every day.

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